Warmth

I had an interview today. It went well. I’m still processing the experience of it. The feeling I had when I walked away was warmth.

I did pretty remarkably well in all of the areas that I was put through. The lesson in front of students, the interview, the tour. I asked questions, was responsive, honest, and engaged in thoughtful follow through.

I taught a lesson on theme statement writing using the poem, “Still I Rise”, by Maya Angelou. The students were interested, worked hard, and came up with some thought-provoking theme statements. One student talked about hotdogs and bologna. *Face palm* Typical middle school boy.

I even got some feedback. The principal had a lot of positive things to say- about the engagement, the way I got students to go through the whole process of a think-write-pair-share. And he said the turn-and-talk went on a little long–to the point where I had to reign them back in.

I then went back to my current school to teach for the rest of the day. Truthfully, I feel a little guilty for looking for other opportunities.

One boy desparately cried, “Where WERE you?”

I said, “I was at a meeting and then I came to school. How did it go with the sub?”

He said, “You know the people in our class.” And I do. Two of whom can barely sit in their seats long enough to complete a simple sentence. I generally get them back on track. And they LOVE to help. Erase the board? Hands go up. Pass out papers? It’s a mad dash to be the first one to do so.

Where I work is a special place. However, I’ve had mental health crises come up at the end of the year for two years in a row. Deep down, I feel like I’ve blown every shot of being taken seriously as a reliable employee.

Maybe a fresh start is just what I need to jumpstart this new healthy version of myself.

I’ve heard that if you are not sure if you like something or someone, you should pause and notice how your body feels. Does it feel tense, tight, and cold? Or do you feel a light warmth spreading throughout your chest? If it’s more of the first, then that’s a telltale sign that you shouldn’t interact with that thing or person anymore. But, but… if it’s more of the second, that’s a nudge from your intuition that this could be for you.

And today, I felt warm at this school, and in the classroom, and in the interview. I felt like I could actually talk to this principal. And perhaps be seen and understood by him. I’ve never had that before.

If I get the call, I’m still on the fence if I should take it. But I know my heart is nudging me ever so gently out the door and into a brand new professional adventure.